All proclamations "signed into law" in the Nation of Jake will documented here:


1) No Beard Implants.

2) No referring to pets as "children", "babies", "sons", or "daughters".  Furthermore, one shall never refer to themselves as (any variation of) "parent", "mother", or "father" to his or her pets. 

3) No non-prescription lenses allowed, with the exception of safety glasses or shades (only when outdoors or driving).

4) No "read receipts" when sending emails.  EVER.

5) Spaghetti is NOT a side dish.